


With A Kiss

by Butterynutjob



Category: Jesus Christ Superstar - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Porn, Blasphemy, Canon Compliant, M/M, Not Happy, Oral Sex, bottom!Jesus, top!Judas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 21:35:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5471549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Butterynutjob/pseuds/Butterynutjob
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Judas knew that Jesus would view having him arrested as a betrayal, especially considering their past. He was expecting anger, pain, and guilt; he wasn't expecting the pleasures of Sodom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With A Kiss

**Author's Note:**

  * For [redbrickrose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/redbrickrose/gifts).



> Thank you, redbrickrose, for giving me a prompt that let me write something that is probably illegal in many places. It was fun. :)

Judas entered the garden slowly, waving back the Roman guards. They rolled their eyes but stayed back, out of sight. Even though he was here to turn Jesus over to them, he held out a thin hope that perhaps, if he could just talk to Jesus alone, he could talk some sense into him. 

Even as he had the thought, he knew he was lying to himself. 

He walked into the sunlight-dappled garden silently, frowning in confusion at how the other Apostles were all lying asleep in the garden of Gethsemane. Had there been something in the wine?

"Other than his blood," Judas muttered to himself. He heard footsteps and froze. It was Jesus, climbing down off the rocks to the West. Judas instinctively moved to help him get down, but when he held his hand up to Jesus, the smaller man froze and stared at him. 

Judas stared back. Jesus' face was puffy with the aftermath of tears. Against his better judgement, Judas was swayed. He opened his mouth to speak, but Jesus beat him to it. 

"Are they here?" he asked. Only a tiny crack in his voice (and the puffiness around his eyes) betrayed the smooth serenity of his tone; the practiced serenity. 

Judas took Jesus’ hand and helped him off the last rock. "Not yet," he said softly. He was close enough to smell Jesus now, and nostalgia hit him like a kick in his gut. He didn't smell exactly the same, because the prostitute had anointed him with her oils, but underneath the oil’s too-fragrant odor he smelled the earthiness and musk that had belonged to the slight man-boy from Nazareth who had so captured Judas' heart five years before. 

Jesus gracefully accepted Judas’ help down and then turned to face him. He studied Judas' face for a moment in silence, when his eyes filled with pain. "Why did it have to be you?" he finally whispered. His voice was unexplainably hoarse. "It's salt in the wound of my—" he cut himself off with a shake of his head. "I loved you, Judas."

The words hurt. "Not more than you loved yourself. Not more than you loved your faith." 

Jesus' eyes flashed in sudden anger. "No," he said, defiantly. "Not more than that."

God, but he was still the most beautiful thing Judas had ever seen. He was undeniably a beautiful man, handsome of face, but he also emanated a charisma that was unparalleled in Judas' experience. Of course Judas loved him; everyone loved him. And he had loved Judas too, once. 

"Do you think you're a god, now?" Judas asked abruptly. He watched an angry flush creep onto Jesus' cheeks. 

"Do what you came to do," he said, brushing past Judas. Judas grabbed his arm tightly. He turned his head into the crook of Jesus' neck and inhaled. 

_That scent…_ "I miss you,” Judas whispered. “I miss _us_.” His breath moved several strands of Jesus' long hair. "When this all began, you were a man, you weren't a deity; you weren't the son of God," Judas said. The sun was just starting to set and he could feel Jesus shivering under his white robe. Or perhaps he was trembling. "I miss your hands on me, your mouth—"

"Enough," Jesus said through gritted teeth, turning his head to face Judas, their faces inches apart. The anger on his face melted away, replaced by naked pain. "How could I have let us continue after My Father told me what you were going to do to me?"

"What I'm going to—" Judas' mouth fell open in righteous indignation. "All I'm doing is what's best for our people! You will be fine. There's nothing they can charge you with! You haven't broken any laws!"

Jesus stared at Judas and his face cycled through several expressions, and ended with tears in his eyes. "That's not—" he looked down and shook his head. "You don't know," he whispered. a tear rolled down his cheek. “You don’t know what you’re doing.”

Judas touched the tear and it smeared across Jesus' cheek. "It's going to be alright," he said softly, his eyes roaming his former lover's face. "Everything's alright." He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of Jesus' mouth, all that he thought he could get away with.

To his surprise, Jesus turned his head and deepened the kiss, opening his lips to Judas like he hadn't in almost three years. Judas grasped the other man's shoulders as desire overtook him. He tentatively let his tongue lick at the edge of Jesus' lip, and was gratified when the other man moaned and opened his mouth more. 

They swayed and almost fell, reluctantly breaking the kiss. To Judas' surprise, Jesus immediately kissed him again, hungrily. Judas used his grip on Jesus' shoulders to push the other man back slightly. 

"I thought you didn't want this," Judas said, his voice thick with emotion and arousal. "I thought _Your Father_ didn't want you to lay with men."

Jesus stared at Judas, pressing his lips together. Judas frowned to see that Jesus looked angry again. "That is not..." He sighed and started again. "I never said my father said that. It’s true that the Torah says that man lying with man is an abomination, but...we stopped because—I stopped—for _you,_ Judas! I thought it would be easier for you if we weren't so close. Because I saw—" he shook his head. "It doesn't matter now. It’s been set in motion and nothing can save me." He slowly raised his eyes to make eye contact with Judas. "I can’t believe My Father is opposed to any kind of love," he whispered, in a voice so quiet it was almost inaudible. 

He stepped closer and kissed Judas again, a kiss that rapidly went past the boundaries of friendship, wet with tongue. He untucked Judas's shirt from his belt and slid his cool hands over the hot flesh of Judas' sides. He pulled his mouth away from Judas' only to maintain eye contact as he slowly and somewhat awkwardly dropped to his knees.

Judas' breath caught in his throat. Even when they'd been lovers, Jesus had never been so forward. He'd always been slightly ashamed when it came to physical contact, slightly fearful, they’d only kissed and groped and rutted before. But now...the man from Nazareth was reaching into Judas' pants and pulling out his half-erect cock and looking at it like it was a treat he had been denied for too long. 

Judas clutched Jesus' shoulders, utterly unable to look away. Jesus tilted his head to look up at Judas for a moment, his green eyes bright with lust, and maintained eye contact as he swept his pink tongue around the dark pink flesh of Judas' circumcised cockhead. 

Judas groaned loudly at the combination of the sight and the feel of that silky wet tongue gliding against his most sensitive flesh. It was hypnotizing, watching the man who had always before been too shy or anxious to do anything more than kiss and touch Judas curiously licking and nuzzling Judas’ rapidly stiffening cock. 

This wasn’t the Jesus he knew. It was as alarming as it was arousing, and Judas found himself tongue-tied with indecision. His left had grasped Jesus’ shoulder tightly while he touched Jesus’ hair almost reverently with his right. He cried out with his head back and face clenched when Jesus finally slid his lips fully around Judas’ cock and took as much as he could into his mouth. 

Judas had had mouths on his cock before, but never before had the situation felt so charged. His cock was so hard it was almost painful. He felt Jesus wrap his hand around the base of Judas’ cock even while he continued his oral ministrations. When after a few moments Judas opened his eyes and looked down, the sight of Jesus straining to take as much of his cock in his mouth as he could, his face red and neck veins bulging, almost compelled Judas to climax right there. 

Judas pulled back with an awkward sound, guilt welling up in him. The air was cold on his saliva-wet cock as he shook his head and took a step back. “Why?” he asked, his voice hoarse, as if he’d been the one with a foreign object in his throat. “Why now? You know why I came here today.”

For a moment, all he saw was Jesus’ familiar, placid visage, but then a crack in his armor appeared. “This isn’t a gift for you,” he whispered, the expression on his face so ugly that Judas could hardly believe it was the same man he knew. “This is for me. I can have one thing. _I can have one thing!_ ” he abruptly shouted to the heavens, angrily. 

“Shh,” Judas whispered, kneeling next to Jesus and putting his hand over his mouth. “They’ll hear you.”

“They’re going to kill me,” Jesus whispered feverishly, tugging impatiently at Judas’s pants until they had dropped around his thighs. “I’m giving up everything, for him, for them...I deserve...I _want._ I want _this_ , before I go. I don’t care if it’s a sin—” he started laughing, then, harshly, laughs that started to sound like sobs. 

“Jesus,” Judas said urgently. “They’re not going to kill you. Just—do what they say, tell them you’ve been lying, tell them—”

“I want your cock inside me.”

Judas stopped talking immediately and his eyes went wide. He had never even imagined Jesus saying those words. His mouth tried to make sound but nothing came out. 

Jesus grasped Judas’ cock firmly in his hand and looked the other man in the eye. He licked his dry lips. “Please, Judas.”

“Like—sodomites?” Judas whispered. This, he had pictured in his mind, when he was chasing the pleasure of release with his hand. The whispered stories about the activities of the people of Sodom and Gomorrah were supposed to horrify him, but he couldn’t help but feel aroused by them, too. He supposed that it was because some part of him was wrong and twisted and evil, and while he could accept that, he was having a great deal of trouble accepting that Jesus could want that. Jesus was good, and pure, and nearly without sin—

“Like sodomites,” Jesus confirmed. He let go of Judas’ cock and slipped his robe off over his head and lay it down on the grass next to them. “Come to me, Judas.”

Jesus lay down on the robe he’d just laid out, on his back with his knees bent, and started lazily stroking his own cock. His eyes were slightly glazed, as if he’d been drinking too much wine, but Judas knew for a fact that Jesus hadn’t had more than a sip at supper. He was thin enough that Judas could count his ribs, but he also had a wiry musculature that Judas would never tire of looking at, no matter how many times he saw Jesus naked. 

And he was waiting for Judas to touch him; the invitation was clear. 

Without really thinking about what he was doing, Judas leaned down to kiss Jesus’ thigh. He kissed higher on his leg next, and then higher still, up the man’s torso, before his hand moved to caress Jesus’ face and he leaned down to kiss the man on the mouth again, deeply. 

Jesus caught Judas’ fingers and brought them to his face. When Judas broke the kiss, Jesus put two of Judas’ fingers in his mouth. The sight and feel was captivating, and Judas stared with his mouth slightly open as Jesus sucked and drooled on his fingers until they were so wet Judas nearly wiped them on the robe until Jesus caught his hand and shook his head. Judas felt puzzled until Jesus moved his’ hand between his legs, under his testicles, and he realized why Jesus wanted his fingers so wet and his slightly flagging erection roared back to life. 

The first finger slid in easily. Judas stared at Jesus’ face the whole time, fascinated by the mix of discomfort and pleasure that crossed it. Jesus lifted his hips encouragingly and Judas belatedly realized what Jesus’ body was telling him and he started to fuck his finger in and out of Jesus’ ass. Jesus arched his body and made small noises of appreciation. 

“More spit, and your other finger,” Jesus panted after a minute. Judas blinked and awkwardly drooled some more saliva onto the finger next to the one inside Jesus and then pushed that one inside too. 

Jesus grasped his arm as his face clenched. It looked more painful than pleasurable, and Judas started to pull his fingers out when Jesus said softly, “Please don’t stop.”

Judas bit his lip, his fingers still. Finally he drooled a little more onto the part of his fingers that was still outside the other man and slowly pushed them in again. 

Jesus’ eyes were closed and his hips were moving in rhythm to the two fingers fucking in and out of him. He was making small gasping sounds that Judas never wanted to stop hearing. “Yes,” Judas whispered, “Yes, please, yes.” He didn’t even know what he was asking for, but watching Jesus enraptured with pleasure was a sight he never wanted to forget. 

“I want your cock,” Jesus whimpered. “Please.”

“Anything,” Judas whispered, moving over Jesus, his legs between the other man’s. “How do I…?” 

Jesus pulled his legs back and Judas realized—oh yes, they could do this facing each other. That was never the way he’d pictured it but it was better, he thought. Jesus held his legs up and back and Judas moved forward until the top of his cock was just pressed against the purported messiah’s anus. 

“Yes,” Jesus gasped. “Yes, there, I need it, Judas…”

Judas pressed in, fascinated to watch the sphincter grudgingly accept him. Jesus moaned and let go of his legs to clutch Judas’ shoulders. 

“More, please,” Jesus whimpered, his hips moving subtly up and down. Instinct swept through Judas and he pushed deeper inside, only to freeze when Jesus hissed abruptly. 

“I’m hurting you,” Judas said. He started to pull back, but Jesus clutched at him with surprisingly strong fingers. 

“Don’t you dare,” Jesus but his voice had more plea than threat in it. “You’ve already hurt me. Now I want you to fuck me.”

Judas jerked as if he’d been hit. He froze, his cock still inside the carpenter from Nazareth. Guilt squeezed his chest as he stared down at the other man. 

“Judas,” Jesus whispered. He reached up a hand to stroke his lover’s face. “I forgive you. You are playing the part you were given, as I am. Everything is fixed, and we can’t change it.” Jesus stroked his hands down Judas’s back and clenched his ass, making Judas gasp and thrust in despite himself. 

“I’m sorry,” Judas cried out, as lust overtook his guilt. He began moving his hips faster, astonished by everything about the experience; the tight heat around his cock, the complex and nuanced expressions crossing Jesus’ beautiful face, lit by the orange light of the setting sun. As he approached his physical climax, he felt a kind of emotional climax too; he was as in love with Jesus as he was frustrated with the man’s methods and as he started coming inside Jesus a sob burst out of his mouth unexpectedly. 

Jesus looked at him with great sorrow and pulled Judas down for another kiss as Judas all but collapsed on the smaller man, the sweat on his skin rapidly cooling in the evening breeze. He kissed Jesus repeatedly, not quite crying but hovering on the brink of tears, murmuring, “I love you, I’m sorry” over and over again. Jesus just stroked Judas’ back slowly, not saying anything, just emanating the peace that made people flock to him. 

Judas realized he was dozing off when he felt Jesus shiver beneath him. “Oh,” Judas said dumbly, realizing Jesus was naked because they were lying on his robe - and also that his soft cock was still inside Jesus. He pulled out slowly, wondering what it felt like to have another man’s seed inside him. Jesus wiped some on his robe and then started to slowly put the garment back on. 

“Can I - get you a wet cloth, or something?” Judas asked a little anxiously, sitting up. It seemed rude, not to offer to help with cleanup. 

Jesus shook his head and smiled wryly, tugging his robe back into place. “It doesn’t matter. And I want - I will like having a reminder of us, of this.”

Judas frowned. “It can’t be comfortable. They might hold you for a few days.”

Jesus stared at Judas’ face for a long moment with a pained expression. “They’re going to kill me, Judas.”

“They won’t,” Judas said firmly. “You haven’t broken any laws. They’ll hold you for a few days and then let you go.”

Jesus stood up and Judas quickly stood up too. Only a slightly pink glow in the west remained of the day. Judas was uncomfortably aware that the soldiers were still waiting, and had been waiting an inordinately long time, in fact. They could be watching them now... 

“Run away with me,” Judas said under his breath to Jesus, his tone urgent. “If you disappear, they’ll let you be. They don’t want to kill you; they just want you to go away.”

Jesus gazed at Judas, his face suffused with compassion. “I can’t do that,” he said simply. “I am the savior of mankind. I will die for their sins. I can’t run away from that.”

Judas’ heart plummeted as he realized Jesus’ delusions still existed and were stronger than ever. Fear clenched his gut that Jesus might be right; not about being the savior of mankind, which was not a concept Judas could fully grasp, but that his arrest would lead to him being killed.

“You believe you will die, and yet you persist?” Judas said, anger rising in him. “This won’t accomplish anything!”

Jesus studied Judas’ face serenely, his inner turmoil apparently resolved. “I want to tell you not to blame yourself when you find out, but I know I can’t change that, either.”

Judas heard a noise behind him and he saw Jesus’s eyes flicker in that direction. He stared at Jesus for almost a full minute while the other man looked back evenly. Finally, Judas leaned forward and kissed Jesus on the mouth; a kiss that was almost perfunctory. 

Judas heard the soldiers approaching behind him without surprise; he had given them the cue, after all. Jesus, however, jerked in surprise and looked up at Judas with wide, horrified eyes. “I guess there were some details My Father left out,” he whispered. “Judas...must you betray me with a kiss?”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sorry!!


End file.
